Talking about sex can be hard.

Society says it’s a no-no. We can talk about lots of things, but actually being intimate with someone else about our thoughts, feelings and experiences; our desires, fantasies and fears around sex, is not only a bit awkward, it can feel impossible. Like someone is going to judge us and think us disgusting for wanting things, feeling things or getting aroused by things. Well that’s not how I operate.

I have decades of experience in getting to know and understand shame, embarrassment and the fear of being judged, and together we can talk about everything related to sex, arousal relationships and intimacy.

Everyone who comes to me for psychotherapy wants to understand themselves better, and for many of my clients this includes understanding themselves as sexual beings. Why do I like what I like? Why do I find myself distancing myself from men? Why do some things turn me on in private, but I wouldn’t dream of talking to a partner about them? Is this kink normal? Am I lovable? Am I enough?

All of these questions and so many more can be explored more fully in psychotherapy. As I’m fond of saying, it’s a place for brave conversations that you may never have had with another person. A place to be able to say things, play with ideas and take risks, without being judged. For most people coming to therapy, this is hard but rewarding work. For some it’s completely transformational.

If sex, sexuality, relationships and intimacy are in need of some exploration and you want to do so with the help of a supportive, but challenging therapeutic relationship, then get in touch with me – ben@benbankstherapy.com

Through our work together, life can get brighter.

The Hidden Loneliness of Senior Leadership

Leadership can be deeply relational—and profoundly lonely at the same time. As responsibility increases, so often does distance. Fewer peers. Fewer places to speak freely. More people looking to you for certainty.

Many executives tell me they feel “held together” by others’ expectations. There’s little room to not know, to doubt, or to bring uncertainty into the room. Even well-meaning colleagues or partners may rely on you to stay steady.

Over time, this can create a quiet isolation. Not the absence of people, but the absence of being fully known. You may notice yourself editing what you say, protecting others from your worries, or feeling oddly disconnected even in close relationships.

This loneliness isn’t a personal failing. It’s often the emotional consequence of leadership structures that reward composure and discourage vulnerability. Yet something essential can get lost when you’re always the one holding the centre.

Therapy can offer a rare kind of relationship: one where you don’t have to perform, reassure, or lead. A place where uncertainty is welcome, and complexity isn’t rushed.

The challenge here is subtle. Can you allow yourself to be accompanied, rather than managing alone? For many leaders, that shift—however small—can be unexpectedly relieving, and deeply human.

If leadership has begun to feel isolating in ways you rarely speak about, you don’t have to carry that alone. Therapy can offer a private space to be met as a person, not a role, and to explore what support might look like for you.